The Jetlag Diaries (in which the author contemplates the nature of time and narrowly avoids a plane crash)
24 Jan 2014
I’ve never been very good with time zones (I’m known to ask “okay, but what time is it REALLY?” ad nauseaum until my travel companions duct tape my mouth shut and shove me in the trunk), so crossing the International Date Line for the first time was kind of a big deal. I was going to lose an entire day of my life and it didn’t look like I would be getting it back. So I decided to chronicle the experience in my journal, sort of like live-tweeting, only sans the Internet because I was on a plane. However, then I got distracted because my plane almost crashed so I never really got to the bottom of the lost day situation. I decided to type up the results anyway. Here goes.
9 AM PCT, Monday, January 20
Somewhere over the Pacific ocean
We’ll be landing in Honolulu in a few hours and it will still be Monday. Then we’ll get on another plane to Auckland and somewhere along the line it will miraculously become Tuesday night. I’m struggling with this concept. How can an entire day just disappear?
2 PM Hawaii time, Monday, January 20
Honolulu Airport
I am wondering if the pilot will tell us when we cross the international date line. I hope so. Does it actually stay Monday right up until you cross the line? I feel like it should be a more gradual process.
Edit: Macky says it most definitely stays Monday until the moment you cross the line, hence it being called a line.
Our plane, before it broke
3 PM Hawaii time, Monday, January 20
Honolulu airport, sitting on a plane.
What time does it become when the plane takes off? I think there are two ways to handle this–you either set your clock ahead to Auckland time (where it’s already Tuesday) or you leave your clock on Hawaii time until the wheels touch down, but then you have to deal with the whole mind fuck of losing a day while navigating customs and picking up your luggage. Of course, both of these options seem kind of like cop outs to me. Like, pretending. I think I’ll pick option 3, which is to agonize constantly for the next nine hours over what time it is exactly in the plane at any given moment. Macky says he prefers options 1 or 2 and the pilot clearly agrees as the monitor shows Hawaiian time and Auckland time but no REAL time. Who is this whack job driving our plane and is he trying to drive me crazy?
4 PM Hawaii time, Monday, January 20
Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean
It just occurred to me. Does this plane actually exist in time?
4:30 PM Hawaii time, Monday, January 20
Very high up in the air
Discussions of time zones have been put on hold because our plane broke. Macky says that I’m being dramatic and that I should write that one of three hydraulic systems went out and we’re actually going to be perfectly fine. But we’re 30,000 feet in the air and something is wrong. So now is clearly not the time to be practical. We’re currently going in circles dumping off fuel into the Pacific Ocean (sorry, ocean) because apparently we’re too heavy to land. TOO HEAVY TO LAND. What, seriously?
The scene from our window after the emergency landing
5:30 PM Hawaii time, Monday, January 20
Honolulu Airport
We didn’t die. They did, however, line the runway with firetrucks, so I feel like I can say that we almost died.
7 PM Hawaii time, Monday, January 20
Food court, Honolulu Airport
In exchange for almost dying, we get to eat $40 of airport pizza for free. For some reason, this feels like a really good deal.
Here we are, not dead and happy to eat pizza.
8:30 PM Hawaii time, Monday, January 20
On a new plane, Honolulu Airport
It has occurred to me that, due to the 8 hour delay, I will lose Tuesday entirely. For some reason this is more disturbing than losing half of Monday and most of Tuesday. Macky says it makes no difference. It has also occurred to me that I am exhausted and that if I’m not careful, I might sleep through the international date line. Macky says that sounds like a good idea.
Edit: Just realized my plane almost crashed and I’m still worried about time zones. Clearly something is fundamentally wrong with me.
No-idea-what-time-it-is-but-Hawaiian-Air-has-decided it-is-time-for-breakfast
Not Tuesday.
Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean
I slept through the international date line. I lost Tuesday. Just had a scary thought–what if it had been my birthday? Or christmas? Or some other day that is in any way more significant to me than January 21st? Where did it go? Why does this bother me so much?
5 AM, NZ time. Wednesday, January 22nd.
Auckland Airport.
Wednesday isn’t so bad. We cleared customs. Both bikes showed up. It’s warm outside. It even, almost, kinda, sorta feels like a Wednesday. I think I can deal.
Jetlagged, exhausted and giddy to be in New Zealand, whatever the hell day it is.
More updates from New Zealand coming soon…in which we buy a car and become full-fledged tramps in the span of about 12 hours.
What about you? Do time zones drive you nuts or do you just not care? Share your thoughts below!
Now, three days later, there are still occasional time snafus. For example, US deadlines mean we actually have an EXTRA day, not one LESS day. Fortunately I pointed this out before our author passed away from worrying. I also feel that we adjusted fairly well, probably because we had to sleep on the plane and thus got onto a NZ schedule quite quickly…
Ohhhh an extra day is nice!
We had exactly the same feeling when we went to Australia over Christmas 2012! We flew out of Dallas-Fort Worth on Christmas Day evening and landed in Brisbane on December 27th morning. What happened to December 26th AKA Boxing Day to us Brits…who knows, we just lost it. How does that happen? Again, I don’t know aside from the fact it kind of screws with your head if you try to start thinking about it too much.
Anyway back to reality, time zones are there for a reason I suppose and we just have to live with them. In other words, I really enjoyed reading your great post.
I know we have to live with them but I still don’t understand how a day can just vanish! Totally perplexing!
Man that is a long flight. I can’t handle flights more than 5 hours, especially if I’m alone! That must be such a weird feeling, landing two days later and never having that middle day. At least you guys made it safe and sound! Now onto new adventures! :)
I love flying from Taiwan to Canada. I nearly arrive the same time I left!! Going back – well that is another story (or entire day)!
I remember my first time flying over the international date line – I watched it on the map provided. I always love watching the route and seeing what part of the world I am flying over!
Glad everything was ok! Enjoy your time in New Zealand!
I always love to travel from East to West because I feel as if I’m “saving” time instead of “wasting” it. However, when the opposite happens, my jetlag is totally unbearable!
Totally agree. I love gaining a day! Or even a few hours…
I really enjoyed the style of writing in this post. I haven’t experienced this myself, but I can imagine I’d be the same way…it’s a weird thing to think about. Can’t wait to find out what new things y’all get into over there :)
Oh wow how dramatic!!
I actually crossed the date line the day before you and completely lost Monday. I think that’s about 7 odd days I have completely missed over my life thanks to this! I find it freakier when I travel the other way – despite it taking 15 hours to fly to LA, we arrive before we leave! Work that one out :)
I can’t say I really think about it much, time zones, times, days, its all just relative anyway, no one is actually behind or in front. Maybe that’s the maths teacher in me. In fact, when I am in the US, I usually feel we are ahead of Australia, even though we are technically behind since it’s 5 hours ahead or 19 behind and the 5 hours is smaller.
Ha, yes, I know. I’m really only 4 hours off Mountain States Time…so as long you just don’t think about that irksome day, you’re fine!
That pilot was really messing you up. I’m with you on being dramatic when something goes wrong 30.000 feet above the ground. Looking forward to your updates from New Zealand. Judging by this post, we are in for some good laughs. Have an awesome time!
Yeah, the least you can do when something goes wrong in such a precarious situation is exaggerate as much as possible when the incident is over…haha.
love the way you think…I always change my clock once I am in the air and try and sleep to the new zone in some bizarre ritual to try and dispel jetlag…sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
Wow, I think I would be the same. I am constantly worrying that time is passing me by so the thought of losing a whole day does seem a bit drastic, although like others have commented I love it when you end up gaining hours, that makes me feel pretty good. I am similar to yourself in the sense that I have to keep converting the time, “so I know it’s 9am in Cuba but what time is it in London?” My poor husband does find it rather tiresome. I don’t know why I have a constant obsession with knowing what my home city is up to.
Great post, I really enjoyed your writing style and you candid nature when describing what is clearly something that you pondered over for hours. :)
Haha!!! Completely enjoyed reading your post. Scary adventures make travel fun! :)
This is brilliant. Just hilarious. Read it aloud to my husband and we laughed together. Also enjoyed Macky’s comments. Great post, glad you lived to tell it!
Glad you liked it, Erin!
Holy cow! I would’ve PANICKED! I truly hate flying (despite loving travel, yep) I think I would have definitely been brown paper bagging.
I DESPISE FLYING TOO. I seriously white-knuckle it for every take off and landing. Yet, I fly like 8 times a year….
Ohh gawd, I am laughing. I agree that it’s good reward for not dying – the pizza that is! Enjoy NZ (and lugging those bags about)
I’ve flown through enough time zones now for it not to bother me much. I just set the time to wherever I’m going and roll with it! As for an emergency landing, now that would shit me up. What did they tell you in the air about what the problem was?
They said that one of the hydraulic systems was leaking, but the plane could operate fully on one of its two back-up systems. So, the practical person could theoretically not freak out, but of course I was like, that’s just what they’re TELLING us, how do we know we’re not about to crash?!?!?!
Any landing you can walk away from, right? ;D
I know what you mean about the days and times and date lines mixing you all up. Best advice I can give is just try and forget it and walk around in blissful ignorance. I barely know what day it is at the best of times, so if I lose a day in transit somewhere I probably wouldn’t notice! ;D
P.S I love your writing style!
Haha, yup, blissful ignorance is the way to go!
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Oooooh I loved this post… You’re writing is sublime. And seriously too heavy to land? I thought that would never happen as they never let me go through with even 1 kilo too much… hmpff. Well luckily you are still alive so you can keep on riding fantastics posts =)
Thanks, Milene! I think it’s the jet fuel that makes it heavy… lucky you for getting through with an extra kilo!
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