Today we learned that the US embassy in Santiago, Chile is a glorified military compound. Meaning it looks like baracks from the outside but inside there are flowers and faux-gothic decor. We learned this because yesterday some turdbag smashed a window in our rental car and took off with Macky’s passport and wallet. Good start, right? This was especially annoying because our car was parked 50 meters from a cafe with outdoor seating and we were only gone half an hour. It was also broad daylight. I mean, come on. Anyway, now we know.

On the bright side, the Chilean Carabineros (police) are wonderful and being robbed meant we got to hang out with them. Seriously, they’re adorable. They’ve got this funny green hat thing going on and I can’t get enough of it.  Even with their guns they are about as threatening as puppies wearing daisy chains.

On our umpteenth and final trip to the embassy, I stayed with the car while Macky went to fetch his passport. You can’t really leave a car by itself when the rear window has been reduced to a layer of pulverized dust all over your suitcases. It’s just not cool. (Though, on reflection, it might be better–at least they wouldn’t have to break another window.) We were parked semi-illegally, in front of an embassy no less, so naturally I was a little nervous when I saw the Carabinero approaching. Oh shit I’m about to learn how to drive stick in six lanes of traffic with a cop breathing down my neck. Turned out he didn’t really care about our questionable parking job. Instead we chatted about the weather (hot) and the United States (far away) and how not having a rear window must really be a bummer (it is).

Despite the eight hours we wasted with the U.S. embassy (everyone is friendly-friendly-friendly but efficiency just isn’t their game) today really wasn’t so bad. We went to a bike shop, planned a ride for tomorrow, swapped rental cars for one with intact windows, cooked dinner and ate outside on the patio of our hostel. Tomorrow we’re getting out of the city.

How we feel about getting out of Santiago…