So, if you’re like me, you’re probably curious what it’s like to be a sea lion. Or maybe you’re not, but whatever, this is my blog. And while I don’t have any first hand knowledge on this topic, I have been conducting some pseudoscientific observations. This might sound impressive, but it’s really not because the sea lions in Monterey have got to be some of the world’s most tourist friendly wildlife. (Beaten only by Chilean penguins…) For this analysis, all I did was walk down to the wharf and wave around my camera. Reason number 10-gagillion that living in California is not real-life.

So what’s it like being a sea lion?

For starters, if you’re lucky enough to be a sea lion in Monterey Bay, your life is pretty nice. You get to sit in the sun all day and you have lots of cormorants for friends.

In fact, napping is your fav. You don’t give a flip if tourists sneak up and stick cameras in your face. (Editor’s note: I have a telephoto lens so this is not as invasive as it appears).

Not having hands is a bummer, but if your nose itches at least you’ve got your tail. And barnacle encrusted rocks make great back-scratching posts. (Not recommended for humans.)

But even though you look cute and cuddly, you actually weigh 600 hundred pounds, measure eight feet long and possess gnarly fish-chomping fangs. And you’re totally badass on the inside too.

You have lots of other sea lion friends, although sometimes they do annoying things like photo-bomb your portrait shots.

In fact, sometimes they be can total jerks.

But generally, your life is pretty chill…

In other good news, the California Sea Lion population has been increasing since 1975, but as is the case with most pinnipeds (and yes, that is the official term, it means things with flippers) humans don’t exactly make their lives better. Accidental trash consumption, collisions with fishing boats and harmful algal blooms are all threats to sea lions. If you’re ever in the Orange Country area, be sure to check out the Pacific Marine Mammal Center. Admission is free and the cuteness is out of control. (Oh, and from a conservation perspective they do great work, so there’s that too). If you just want to get up close and personal with some of these fascinating creatures, the Monterey wharf is the place to be.