This will be a somewhat atypical post. I was only in Sicily for three weeks, so I don’t have any broad declarations to make. I still don’t really know that much about Sicily and I can’t tell you where to go, because I didn’t go everywhere. I can’t tell you where to eat, although I will tell you that you should eat as much eggplant as you possibly can because it will change your life. What follows are a series of notes and observations, the things that caught my eye, surprised me, impressed me.

Palermo. A large city, by my standards. Narrow streets. Mo-peds driving on the sidewalk. Cars parked everywhere. First observation — Italians don’t park. They abandon. I wonder how it is they get away with double parking? Do they know the person they’re blocking in or do they just go for it and hope for the best? We visit a museum filled with skeletons and mummies. It’s cool, but confusing because there are no informational placards anywhere. Later, we find out that they are plague bodies, pickled in vinegar and stuffed with straw to preserve them. Outside a little shop is selling postcards with pictures of the mummies. A little notebook features the best preserved mummy, a two year old girl with blonde hair and a nearly complete nose (a feat in mummy-land). I have been looking for a new notebook, but I take a pass on this one.

Train to Cefalu. I use the bathroom and the toilet is just a hole leading out to the train tracks. This fascinates me. Everyone seems to use restroom when the train stops, and it occurs to me that the signs at every stations instructing you not to cross the tracks might have less to do with oncoming trains and more to do with shit.

A further note on Italian toilets — why are toilet seats optional in Italy? I have noticed this in Argentina and Chile, as well. Even fancy hotels have toilet seats that are barely connected and that jiggle and threaten to tip you off at inconvenient moments. In America, do we just replace our toilet seats before that reach that stage, or do we make better toilet seats? And if it’s the latter, why has the rest of the world not figured this one out? And why am I such a prude that I find myself continually shocked by upscale establishments that don’t have toilet seats. In a fancy restaurant in Erice, the women’s bathroom has three toilets, zero toilet seats and seven sinks.

Cefalu. A small city on the beach. An argument ensues — is this the Mediterranean? Or the Tyrrhenian? Perhaps Mediterranean is the umbrella term. Still haven’t solved this one, any input would be appreciated. Cefalu marks the discovery of pistachio gelato, which might be the best thing ever, and also a revelation in terms of eggplant and its potential. America, we’ve been doing it wrong.

Stromboli. One of the smaller islands in the Aeolian island chain. Not just an island. Also a giant volcano. Naturally, I’m very excited about this, but unfortunately, the hike to the top of the crater is closed due to “volcanic activity” which is code for “humungo lava flow that has just added 30 feet to the circumference of the island.” On the bright side, we are able to hike some of the way up, and also take a kayak out to look at the lava flow (although, sadly but not surprisingly, our guide didn’t let us get too close). Stromboli quickly becomes my favorite place — white buildings, black sand, steaming volcanic vents and octopus pasta.

Mt. Etna. Another volcano. This one on a the mainland. A somewhat less successful adventure than Stromboli, as the fog rolls in and we never actually see Etna. This, of course, is the problem with mountains. We do manage a short hike through the black rock moonscape and I collect some volcanic pumice for my dear boyfriend, who is kind enough to tolerate rocks as souvenirs (shhhhh don’t tell him I told you that).

Sciacca, pronounced “shaka.” Beautiful tile work, hidden staircases, a 1750s villa in an orange grove. Note — Italians might not be very good at toilet seats, but they are excellent at doors and staircases. We Americans have a very limited idea of what a door can be. Why are all our doors the same size?